Eaton Bray turned up to Wolverton’s picturesque ground under skies so grey even the clouds looked unsure whether they fancied it. A bit of drizzle here, a bit there, and after some cover-on, cover-off chaos, a 32-over affair was agreed. Our skipper, using his finest weather-based cricket logic, won the toss and chose to bowl — assuming the pitch would magically dry and become a batting paradise. Spoiler: it didn’t.

Opening the bowling was Syed, doing what Syed does — line, length, and the occasional glare. From the other end, Malik emerged fresh from a night shift… making 2,200 naan breads. His first few overs? A bit more "garlic naan" than "good line", and the Wolverton openers tucked in like it was a buffet. One opener looked like he’d never held a bat — and then casually made 76. We made a quick bowling change, bringing on Chop and Stefan. Chop spun webs. Stefan bowled well — if the batsmen weren't sweeping him into next week.

Catches went down like the England batting lineup. Callum dropped a sitter, prompting Malik to demand positional changes like a cricketing Pep Guardiola. Moments later, Malik himself misjudged a sweep shot at deep square — taking three confident steps in, only to watch the ball sail over his head and the rope. Zain gave him the death stare.

Junaid came on with his classic left-arm non-spinners, and along with Chop, turned the tide, going for just 40 off 12 overs. Honourable mention to Azeem, who talked the talk in the field, even fielded like a gazelle… but caught like one too. The first breakthrough came at 129 (yes, that late), and Wolverton closed on a meaty 191 off 29 overs. Chop and Junaid: tight. Everyone else? 151 off 17. Ouch.

In reply, Azeem and Haseeb opened — and opened very, very slowly. Think Dravid on a Sunday morning. Haseeb edged to second slip, Ommer (our marquee Hexton signing) chopped on soon after, and we were off to a classic Eaton Bray crawl.

Junaid and Azeem built a partnership until Azeem smashed a glorious six, then attempted a repeat on a ball so bad it should’ve come with a warning. Instead of launching it into orbit, he top-edged it into the stratosphere and walked off to the laughter of all 4 spectators.

Chop joined Junaid, but was undone by a turning beauty. The chase fizzled. Syed, Callum and Zain came and went quicker than a WhatsApp group argument. But Stefan, oh Stefan, gave us a moment — a towering first-ever adult cricket six! Junaid ended 60* and undefeated, but sadly, so was Wolverton's defence. We finished well short finishing on 134 for 7 wickets.

In the end, a deserved win for a strong Wolverton side. We may not have chased 192, but we remain top of the league, with full spirits, full bellies (thanks Malik?), and eyes firmly on promotion. Bring on the return leg.

Match report by Junaid Ashiq