It was the question everyone was asking: how could a cricket match possibly live up to the preposterous pageantry, the unexpected excitement, the surprising spectacle that was the Eurovision Song Contest of the night previous. OK, literally no-one was asking this - but if they had, this match would have scored douze points from even the French jury!

The UK’s entry was titled ‘What the Hell Just Happened?’ (of course! Who didn’t know that!) and it was a match that had you asking exactly that - keeping you guessing more than Eurovision’s dodgy voting system. Did we have enough spare balls to last the match? Would the weather make its bloomin’ mind up? And was that first change bowler chucking it? The answer to all of these questions was difficult to answer…apart from the last one, which was easy to Make Your Mind Up.

The day started with a lost toss, but Syed got what he wanted and the Bray were put into bat. Ben and Zainatullah opened, with Zainatullah a Ooh Ahh, Just a Little Bit gun shy. That said, he still took a cheeky six off Hexton’s opening attack, while Ben knocked his runs the other end. Zain was first to fall on 16, trying to hoik a straight one. Ben followed not long after for 24, dollying a catch to square leg.

Junaid fell to our friend with the ‘indeterminate’ action, leading Owen and Azeem to put on a show and see the innings out, scoring 76 and 71 not out respectively. Congratulations!

A strong 218 total to chase, leading Hexton’s captain to give a Phil Brown style on-the-field ‘motivational’ team talk. Whether it worked was questionable, though the Hexton opening pair came out Boom Bang a Bang against an opening attack of Stefan, fresh from his 7 wickets the day previous, and Barm off his long run. Obviously the batters underestimated Barm with the new ball, and wickets began to tumble. Barm struck first with a lovely drift that snuck through the gate. Stefan was next, turning one to get the thickest of edges which Owen took after a bizarre set-up off Ben’s shoulder. It can’t be a drop if someone else takes it!

Syed’s instructions were clear at the beginning: they’re going to come out hitting, so don’t drop anything. But like a dull ballad from France, did we listen? No we did not. Unfortunately drops were all too common, and allowed for Hexton’s middle order to attack. And attack they did with vigour. The airfield may need clearing of debris given the amount of sixes they hit over the road.

Owen got key breakthroughs with the catches we did keep hold of; a good diving effort from Stefan to take their most threatening batsman, and Jaco keeping hold of a thick edge by hugging it. And Owen returned the favour with a catch of his own for Malik to get in on the wicket action too. Zain and Syed took the final two wickets to keep the pressure up and add to the bonus points tally, but their final pair kept it going to the last. Thankfully our total was just enough for it to be a bit beyond them by the final over.
So What The Hell Just Happened? Well it was a day that very nearly got away from us, but tenacious batting and resilience in the field saw us through to another victory. Euphoria! 3/3 for the Sunday XI in front of a healthy crowd of spectators - thank you for all your support!

Offley and Stopsley are up next, back at The Rye. See you this Sunday!

Match report by Ben Nye