It was lights, camera, action for Eaton Bray this weekend. While the 1s were (mostly) live for the world to watch at home, the 2s were part of the bank holiday weekend entertainment on offer at Ley Hill. The bunting was out to welcome us and crowds were already gathering. Are they here to get a rare sight of the lesser spotted Richard Chown in the field?! No - they were just there for the local beer festival, but even the distraction of beer and music couldn’t keep the crowds away from what turned into a headline act on the cricket field.

With Adam topping up his tan in Turkey, his backup singer Pumps took the spotlight and - as is tradition - lost the toss. 40 overs in the field it was.

Euan and Syed were the opening act, and you haven’t seen a better duo; if they were Hall and Oates, they were making our dreams come true; if they were Simon and Garfunkel, they were a rock; if they were Robson and Jerome (one for the teenagers), they were…sticking to what they do best - which was, of course, patient bowling. The overs were leaner than the offerings at the festival BBQ, but a breakthrough was what the crowd wanted. Syed - ever the crowdpleaser - delivered one of his classic Top 10 hits with a tempting ball on the offside that just shaped away from the batsman who heaved a slice which seemed destined for the 7th hole just the other side of the road. But with the slice it dipped, it weaved, it spun in the air - straight into the hands/chest of Harry Chown for Bray’s first wicket.

Euan isn’t one to be upstaged and he also wanted in on the action - but he made the mistake of bowling a ball so good it could only be edged to first slip where, unfortunately for him, Pumps hadn’t put a Chown to field and Barm put it down.

Euan and Syed left the stage with just 22/1 on the board from 10 overs, leaving the crowd wanting more. And more they got in the shape of Ollie and Barm. If the first ten overs were lean, these were practically fat-free. Very little given away, and the overs went by quicker than the festival pints. The fielding from Bray was excellent - Euan, the cover padawan - displaying great work in the field, Hannah solid behind the stumps, Dhruv with some of the most casual arm rockets from deep you’re likely to see. Where could it go wrong…

By shipping a chance to someone in the field who wasn’t a Chown of course! Ben obliged with a tease for everyone - taking a tricky high catch into cow corner, but losing his balance and stepping back into oncoming traffic and the world’s biggest boundary rope AKA Middle Road.

43/1 at drinks. Time for a motivational speech from Pumps. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but sitting here the following morning in my post-inebriated state, I like to imagine it as something akin to M People’s seminal hit - Search for the hero inside yourself. The key change was unexpected, but I think he pulled it off perfectly.

Now in life, there’s often a set list, a plan to follow. But sometimes you just have to see where the occasion takes you, and seeing that the Chown’s had been delivering, Pumps threw the ball to Harry ‘Patience’ Chown to see if a wicket couldn’t be found. Soundtracked by the Kaiser Chiefs, we predicted a riot and that we got when the batsman chipped a ball down the throat of another Chown, Richard. And it was never in doubt, even though we could all see the cogs turning in Richard’s head as he waited to gather it in his gut gracefully snap it up; ‘if I don’t take this, I’m never hearing the end of it’.

There are iconic families in music, of course: The Jacksons, The Bee Gees, Hanson. But there hasn’t been a more prolific family on a cricket field for some time as it was time for another Chown to get in the scorebook. Euan this time taking the catch off of Barm’s bowling to take another of their top order.

However, with overs running out Ley Hill started swinging with lusty blows peppering the attendees to the beer festival. The risk of a head injury is certainly a way to get some attention! The crowd were restless, Eaton Bray were in a difficult second-album phase, who could we turn to to bring back the magic.

Well - patience has been a bit of a catchphrase through the year. And as we all know, Take That made somewhat of an unexpected comeback to the charts with the hit ‘Patience’. And in a similarly unexpected comeback, DK came into the bowling attack. It was like watching the Legends slot at Glastonbury; you’re not sure if they should really still be performing, but you’re happy to see them there anyway. And like an old crooner who’s been there, done that and taken the catch - he wasn’t going to disappoint. Turning back the years, instinct took over better judgement when he leapt to a low one and snaffled it off his own bowling. ‘You always catch them off your own bowling’ - an instant Number 1. And another, clean bowling the big hitter who had been causing a bit of a headache.

Harry ‘Patience’ Chown grabbed another wicket, this time Ben managing to actually keep hold of one. And - like the end of most festivals - the rest gets a little hazy. 200/7 off 40 overs.

Then onto the batting - and it was a three-piece performance like some of the great rock bands in history. Ben, the boring bassist: keeping rhythm in the background, providing the foundation, probably runs a farm and makes cheese. Dhruv, the explosive front man: giving the crowd what they want, before an untimely demise. Ollie, the unpredictable guitarist: delivering magical solos and only the occasional questionable decision. To translate: Dhruv was out on 49 after an elegant innings that deserved a fifty. Ben tapped his way to 50 in his belligerent way. Ollie gave the people what they wanted; big sixes, lost balls, hitting cars, putting pedestrians at risk. 201/1 off 26.1 overs, win by 9 wickets.

All in all a solid performance that keeps us in the hunt. One more game to go - let’s make it a Number One.

Next week we have a friendly against Northwood Town 4th at home. This is a friendly not a league game

Match Report by Ben Nye